The decidedly uncheesy power of positive self-talk

Does positive self-talk feel awkward to you? Maybe it feels too much like a Stuart Smalley affirmation? Or maybe we grew up in environments where standing out or celebrating ourselves was discouraged — where “She really thinks a lot of herself” wasn’t a compliment.

But if we can get past that discomfort, positive self-talk can be a powerful tool for shifting our mindset and helping us move forward. Our brains are wired with negativity bias — a tendency to focus more on threats, failures, and negative experiences than positive ones. This was useful for survival, but in today’s world, it often leads to self-doubt, stress, and overanalyzing mistakes.

Here’s how positive self-talk helps counter that bias:

Reframing the Narrative – Instead of spiraling into self-criticism, positive self-talk helps us shift perspective.
🔴 Negative Bias: “I completely messed up that client meeting.”
🟢 Positive Reframe: “That wasn’t my best, but I handled some of the client's questions well, and I can improve next time.”

Shifting Attention to Strengths – The brain naturally scans for weaknesses, but intentional positive self-talk redirects focus to what went well.
🌅 Try this: At the end of the day, ask yourself: What did I do well today?

Interrupting Automatic Negative Thoughts – Catching negative self-talk in real-time and replacing it with a more balanced perspective prevents a downward spiral.
🪫 Negative Bias: “I’ll never be as good as my peers.”
🔋 Balanced Self-Talk: “I bring unique strengths to the table, and I’m always learning.”

Building Emotional Resilience – Self-compassionate inner dialogue strengthens resilience by keeping failures in perspective rather than defining our self-worth.

Priming the Brain for Positivity – Just like negativity bias reinforces itself, so does positive self-talk. The more we practice it, the easier it becomes to see opportunities instead of obstacles.