Growth vs. Fixed Mindset: How Your Language Shapes How Feedback Lands
In my previous posts, we've explored the neuroscience of feedback and the Five O's framework for structuring feedback conversations. Now let's address a critical factor that determines whether your carefully delivered feedback actually leads to growth: mindset.
Here's something I've observed throughout my coaching practice: Some people hear constructive feedback and immediately start working on improvement. Others hear the exact same feedback and spiral into self-doubt or defensiveness.
What makes the difference? Often, it's mindset — whether someone believes their abilities are fixed or can be developed.
And here's what matters for you as a feedback giver: The way you frame feedback can be the difference between an associate who bounces back stronger and one who starts quietly job hunting.
Understanding Fixed vs. Growth Mindset
Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck's groundbreaking research on "fixed" versus "growth" mindsets shows us exactly why this happens — and how to avoid it.
Fixed Mindset Thinking Sounds Like:
"Maybe I don't have what it takes to succeed here..."
"Everyone is better at this than me..."
"What if I don't have the skills to be good at my chosen profession?"
This mindset interprets feedback as threat. It suggests that abilities are innate and unchangeable, so any gap in performance is evidence of a fundamental deficiency.
Growth Mindset Thinking Sounds Like:
"I can always improve!"
"When I was first starting out, I couldn't have tackled this as well as I can now!"
"This is an opportunity to level up my skills!"
This mindset interprets feedback as challenge. It recognizes that abilities develop through practice, effort, and learning from mistakes.
What This Means for Feedback Givers
Here's the crucial insight: Your job isn't just to identify gaps (I am looking at you, my lawyer friends 😉) — it's to help your colleagues see those gaps as opportunities rather than indictments of their ability.
The language you use matters enormously. Small shifts in phrasing can activate a growth mindset instead of triggering a fixed mindset response.
Reframing Constructive Feedback
Try these growth-oriented phrases:
Instead of: "You're not good at client communication." Try: "Even better if you provided more frequent updates to keep the client in the loop."
Instead of: "This work product isn't up to par." Try: "If we were to do this again, focusing on X and Y would strengthen the analysis significantly."
Instead of: "You made several errors in this draft." Try: "Here's what would take this from good to exceptional..."
Notice the difference? These phrases assume improvement is possible and frame the feedback as an invitation to develop skills, not a judgment about inherent capability.
The Neuroscience of Balanced Feedback
And don't forget: What fires together wires together. When you celebrate wins alongside areas for development, you're literally helping build neural pathways that associate feedback with growth, not shame.
This doesn't mean sandwiching criticism between empty praise. It means genuinely recognizing what's working while addressing what needs development. The brain needs both pieces of information to build an accurate and motivating picture of progress.
Beyond "Nice" or "Tough"
The bottom line: Effective feedback isn't about being "nicer" or "tougher." It's about helping your colleagues understand that their abilities aren't fixed — they're developable through dedication and the right support.
When you consistently frame feedback through a growth mindset lens, you create a culture where people seek out feedback rather than avoid it, where mistakes become data points rather than disasters, and where development becomes a shared responsibility rather than a remedial action.
Your Role in Building Growth Mindset
As a leader, manager, or colleague, you have tremendous influence over whether the people around you develop fixed or growth mindsets about their capabilities. Every feedback conversation is an opportunity to reinforce the message: "You can develop these skills. I believe in your capacity to grow. Let's figure out how to get you there together."
That's the kind of feedback culture that retains talent, builds resilience, and creates organizations where people do their best work.
This concludes my three-part series on delivering effective feedback. If you missed the earlier posts, you can find them here: [link to amygdala hijack post] and [link to Five O's framework post].
How do you help your colleagues maintain a growth mindset, especially when the feedback is hard to hear?
Want to develop your feedback skills further? I work with law firms and professional services organizations to build cultures of psychological safety and effective feedback. Let's talk about how I can support your team.
