Understanding the Amygdala Hijack: Why Performance Reviews Trigger Fight-or-Flight (And What to Do About It)
Performance review season is upon us, and there's a neurological phenomenon happening across conference rooms that most of us don't talk about: the "amygdala hijack."
What Is an Amygdala Hijack?
The amygdala, a small, almond-shaped structure in the temporal lobe, plays a crucial role in processing emotions, particularly fear and anxiety. When you say "I'd like to give you some feedback," your colleague's brain may interpret this as a threat, triggering their amygdala before the conversation even begins.
The result? Sweating, loss of working memory, frontal lobes shutting down, rational thinking stopping. Not exactly the ideal state for professional development.
Prevention: The Best Medicine
How do we head off this fight-or-flight response? The best approach is prevention:
Create psychological safety before review season by developing genuine rapport with your colleagues. When people trust you and feel safe around you, their brains are less likely to interpret feedback as a threat.
Normalize feedback as part of your regular rhythm, not just an annual event. When feedback is woven into everyday interactions, it loses its power to trigger alarm bells.
Model vulnerability by asking for feedback from people you manage. This demonstrates that feedback is a two-way street and a tool for growth, not punishment.
Real-Time Strategies When Reviews Are Happening Now
But what if those meetings are happening THIS WEEK and you haven't had time to build that foundation? Here are strategies to work with the amygdala hijack in real-time:
Give Space for Processing
Don't feel compelled to fill silence with talking. Let the information land. Silence allows the person's nervous system to begin regulating and their rational brain to come back online.
Make It a Dialogue, Not a Monologue
Ask for their ideas on how to improve in areas where they received difficult feedback. This shifts them from passive recipient to active problem-solver, which helps their brain move out of threat mode and into engagement mode.
Acknowledge Emotions Directly
If they become overwhelmed, name it: "I can see this is bringing up some strong emotions." Offering a brief break if needed, or suggesting continuing the conversation another day if they're too overwhelmed to proceed, shows respect for their human response and can actually help them regulate faster.
Close with Clarity and Accountability
Ask them to reflect back what they heard, confirm action items for both of you (what will they do to improve, and how will you support them?), and establish a follow-up plan. This creates a clear path forward and reduces ambiguity, which helps calm an activated nervous system.
The Real Goal
Remember: The goal isn't just to deliver feedback — it's to create the conditions where feedback can actually be received, processed, and acted upon.
Understanding the neuroscience behind feedback reactions isn't about making excuses for defensive behavior. It's about recognizing that we're all wired to protect ourselves from perceived threats, and working skillfully with that reality to create better outcomes for everyone.
In my next post, I'll explore the specific language patterns that can help you deliver feedback in ways that minimize threat response and maximize receptivity.
What strategies have you found effective for creating psychological safety around feedback in your organization?
