The Five O's Framework: A Robust Structure for Delivering Effective Feedback
In my last post, we explored the neuroscience behind why feedback triggers the amygdala hijack. Now let's talk about what to actually say when you're in that feedback conversation.
Are you dreading feedback season? You're not alone. But I've got a robust and easy structure that will help you confidently deliver effective feedback.
Enter the Five O's framework.
The Five O's Framework
1. Orientation: Set the Stage
Create psychological safety and establish a shared goal for the conversation before diving into specifics.
Example: "I want to see you be successful in this role, so I'd like to talk about some things that will help..." or "I think we both want this deal to go smoothly, so I'd like to talk about how it's going so far."
This step signals that you're on their side, not positioning yourself as an adversary.
2. Opening: Create the Right Container
Have the conversation face-to-face (yes, cameras on), with a neutral tone that signals you're invested in their success.
Example: Instead of "We need to talk about your performance" (threat signal!), try "I'd like to catch up about the case — do you have a couple minutes?"
This neutral framing prevents the amygdala hijack before it starts. The language you use in your opening can mean the difference between a defensive person and a receptive one.
3. Observation: Stick to Facts, Not Judgments
Describe what you observed without interpretation or evaluation.
Instead of: "You're not detail-oriented."
Try: "Your draft required multiple revisions for citation format and internal consistency."
See the difference? One is a judgment about their character; the other is an observable fact. Facts are much harder to argue with and don't trigger the same defensive response.
4. Outcome: Connect the Dots
Help them understand the impact of the behavior or work product you observed.
Examples:
"The client specifically mentioned appreciating your attention to detail in the final memo."
"We missed the filing deadline because we didn't have the information we needed by Wednesday."
This step answers the question "Why does this matter?" Without understanding impact, feedback feels arbitrary.
5. Opportunity: Get Curious
This is where the magic happens. Get their perspective first, then explore together: What should they do more of? What's the growth opportunity here? Frame challenges as chances to level up.
Try asking:
"What's your take on how that went?"
"What do you think would help you in situations like this?"
"What support would be useful as you work on this?"
The Most Common Mistake
The mistake I see most often? Feedback givers jumping straight from Observation to prescriptive solutions. "Just do X differently next time."
But here's the thing — when we get curious at Step 5 and invite the receiver to share their experience, the conversation transforms from evaluation to development. They become active participants in their own growth, not passive recipients of critique.
This shift is crucial. People are far more likely to implement solutions they've helped create than ones imposed on them.
Bonus Tip: Close with Confirmation
Before you end the conversation, ask them to summarize their takeaways. This ensures alignment and dramatically increases the chance they'll actually implement the feedback.
Try: "Just so we're on the same page, what are your main takeaways from our conversation?" or "What are you planning to focus on going forward?"
Practice Makes Progress
Like any framework, the Five O's get easier with practice. The structure gives you confidence, and confidence helps you stay calm and clear — which in turn helps the other person stay regulated and receptive.
In my final post in this series, I'll share advanced techniques for handling the inevitable emotional reactions that arise during feedback conversations, even when you follow all the right steps.
What's your biggest challenge when structuring feedback conversations?
